A nightmare she wished to be true

The clock struck fifteen past six in the morning as she stared at it, aroused from the slumber. She had slept very late last night and it hadn't even been half of the time she usually sleeps but she couldn't anymore, there was so much more running through her mind to fret about sleep.. she forced herself to think about resuming the nightmare she just had ... continuing the story in her real life and leave everything, leave everyone and just runaway, alone. 

   It was not reality, it was a dream, a nightmare. She felt so feeble and hopeless during the dream, nobody trusted her. Her parents searched every corner of her room, her belonging right in front of her and didn't listen to any explaining she had to do. They wanted her declared insane or God knows what. Every visiting card that they found in her drawer, they accused that its a psychologist's that she is seeing because she is mad. They had no interest in what she had to say, they had absolutely no trust in her, an absolute zero, could certainly be in negative. Right now, they could trust any piece of paper more than her. She didn't understand, she couldn't ... what was happening to her, what was this all about? But maybe she was too hurt to think, she just had intense emotions running throughout her body, of helplessness and anger, she could literally feel her chest burning out of hatred. She wanted to scream at the top of her voice, and she did so.. but somehow she was mute, she couldn't even churn out enough voice to hear her own scream, yet she gave it all she had, but even that didn't give her any sigh of relief, not a bit. 

    She wanted to run away, right now. She went to clean up her face so not to draw unnecessary attention once she step out but she suddenly wasn't sure about leaving, maybe she wanted some sort of revenge, or prove herself right before she go. She came back to her room wondering what to do next when she saw her brother spying and going back to parents.. she ran after him and somehow wanted to tear him apart yet she couldn't even touch him, as if there was some magical shield around him which just added to her helplessness and now even the part of her that was in anger began to turn into pity for herself as she felt more and more weak and fragile. 

    That's when she woke up, it was the most terrifying nightmare she could recall she had, everyone she knew and loved was against her and there was not a single person she could go to, yet, as she woke, something inside her wished it to be true, wished the worst nightmare she had to actually have occurred. She lay there in her bed for an hour, with a tears in her eyes, continuing the story in her head where the nightmare had left her. 

   She could finally run away, without guilt of hurting someone, alone & start a new... only if the nightmare, she wished, had been true.

It's starting ... Already

I remember it being less than a month ago, I was having a chat with this friend of mine and told her that no matter how upset I am on a day, I never had an issue falling to sleep as you often hear people having sleepless nights... and less than month later, its starting... already.

The thoughts of being treated unfairly, people's double standards and hypocrisy (all on this particular scenario) is starting to influence my sleep now. Every single night since the start of the week as I go for bed it start... as soon as lights and tv is out, these thoughts emerge from nowhere and begin haunting me. The feelings at that time of the night are so genuinely honest, if only you could be like that whole day who knows what you might do; sometimes its so much hatred at that time that just the reflections of all this amplifies my heart beat rate and inflate my blood pressure... though unluckily I'm still not sure how to let it all out, it will create a mess in the family if I do so, and even though its sabotaging my life since more than an year, I just can't seem to be willing to do it.

Left brain & Right brain

I am not a psychology professional, neither a student for that matter.. however I love the subject and read books on psychology when I get time. Psychology never stops to amaze me, today I found this interesting read about the two parts of brain .. If you don't know what I am talking about.. briefly speaking brain has two separate parts, left and right having two different functionalities.. what are those? here is a brief description I read today...

"I am the left brain. I am a scientist. A mathematician. I love the familiar. I categorize. I am accurate. Linear. Analytical. Strategic. I am practical. Always in control. A master of words and language. Realistic. I calculate equations and play with numbers. I am order. I am logic. I know exactly who I am." "I am the right brain. I am creativity. A free spirit. I am passion. Yearning. Sensuality. I am the sound of roaring laughter. I am taste. The feeling of sand beneath bare feat. I am movement. Vivid colors. I am the urge to paint on an empty canvas. I am boundless imagination. Art. Poetry. I sense. I feel. I am everything I wanted to be."

She loves me, She loves me not

I know the title sounds different, as if I love someone and looking to know if she loves me back or not... however what it actually means in this post is just the later part of it... as in what the title actually means despite its common (and the right) usage.

I have heard that a girl loves me more than once and when I heard from this girl, despite her genuine hatred for my best (female) friend there was something in it that just made me feel that she didn't mean it. I didn't mean to say that she was telling a lie, my point just was that even if she was being honest from her side, she didn't know that she was not in love, or perhaps was deliberately trying to fall in love, but love doesn't work that way does it?

The days passed and from her messages to come to meet her when I was at home started fading out and gradually, as the semester finals came near her "love" got to the extent when she would just wave even when seeing me in front of her and pass by. At that time I told her that see, I told you that you don't love me, you are just mistaken but she insisted on that she loves me and she love her grades equally much. But there was no "equality" here was it? She wasn't even pretending as a good friend.

And finally one day we got into a little argument and she called me a name, and there are 2 things that I absolutely hate, 1 is smoking and another is calling names, I even tolerate smoking a bit but I never call names and never like to hear one so I asked her not to message me ever again and guess what the reply of the girl who loves me was, okay. :)

Riddler

You have to work out what the letters mean. See No. 6 as an example.
According to MENSA, if you get 19 + of these, you are a "genius".
	Scoring:1 to 5 is Average, 6 - 11 Somewhat Intelligent, 12 to 18 Intelligent, 19 + Genius
No.	Cryptic	Answer
0	24 H in a D	24 hours in a Day
1	26 L of the A
2	7 D of the W
3	7 W of the W
4	12 S of the Z
5	66 B of the B
6	52 C in a P (W Js)
7	13 S in the U S F
8	18 H on a G C
9	39 B of the O T
10	5 T on a F
11	90 D in a R A
12	3 B M (See How They Run)
13	32 is the T in D F at which W F
14	15 P in a R T
15	3 W on a T
16	100 C in a R
17	11 P in a F (S) T
18	12 M in a Y
19	13 is U for S
20	8 T on a O
21	29 D in F in a L Y
22	27 B in the N T
23	365 D in a Y
24	13 L in a B D
25	52 W in a Y
26	9 L of a C
27	60 M in a H
28	23 P of C in the H B
29	64 S on a C B
30	9 P in S A
31	6 B to an O in C
32	1000 Y in a M
33	15 M on a D M C